The Art of Being Seen
Why You Should Stop Searching for NYC’s 'Best' Family Photographer
Isn’t it funny how we can all look at the same thing but see it in entirely different ways?
This week, I found myself searching for a photographer to document my own family. Naturally, I googled the “best” photographer in NYC. But I quickly realized how vague that word is. Does "best photographer" mean the best composition? The best price? The best availability? None of the results really resonated with me. I wasn’t looking for someone to document our outfits; I was looking for someone to document our existence.
When you choose a photographer, you’re investing in a window of time where someone is truly seeing you. At least, this is what I was looking for.
To help you navigate your search for the best photographer in NYC, I’ve put together a few questions I asked myself, and structured it in "The Advice" and "The Insight."
1) Are you looking for a mirror or a window?
The Advice: Look at a portfolio and ask: Does this look like a magazine ad, or does it feel like a private memory? And which are you looking for?
The Insight: A Mirror reflects the surface, the "ideal" version of ourselves, dressed up and posed. It feels safe because you know exactly what to expect. A Window looks deeper. A "window" photographer wants to catch you off guard. They don't care if your hair isn't perfect; they care about the genuine laugh that just happened. They seek out the layer beneath the surface.
2) Is there a human connection?
The Advice: Pay attention to the questions a photographer asks you during your first inquiry.
The Insight: In an age of AI-generated everything, human connection is the new luxury. If a photographer only asks about dates and locations, they are a vendor. If they ask about your family's dynamic and the rhythm of your home, they’re listening for a story.
3) Are you looking for a bargain or an heirloom?
The Advice: When looking for the best photographer in NYC, ask yourself if you are buying for the "Now" or the "Forever."
The Insight: Photography is a luxury, and while the tendency to spend as little as possible is human, a "bargain" often means a transaction rather than an investment. When you move away from the cheapest option, you aren't just paying for a file; you are paying for the artist’s eye, their ability to archive history, and the peace of mind that these memories are handled with professional care. An heirloom is something that stays with you; a bargain is often something you eventually outgrow.
4) How is your privacy handled?
The Advice: Ask a photographer how they handle requests to keep images offline.
The Insight: Your family’s most intimate moments belong to you. Marketing should never come at the expense of your comfort or your child’s privacy. A thoughtful photographer will have clear policies and the flexibility to honor what feels right for your family.
5) Don’t take their social media as the only deciding factor.
The Advice: Don't use "daily posting" as a metric for quality.
The Insight: Working in advertising taught me that big brands have entire teams to run their social media. I know, because I was on those teams. Many small businesses, creators, and photographers are now setting boundaries and choosing not to be "constantly on." See this as a sign that they are prioritizing their actual work and their actual clients over an algorithm.
6) Is the session a countdown or a conversation?
The Advice: Consider whether you’re looking for a quick, efficient session or time to settle in and let moments unfold.
The Insight: Connection takes a minute. Sometimes several, even for the best photographer in NYC. The magic often happens after everyone forgets they’re being photographed. Space allows that forgetting.
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Not every family is looking for the same thing and that’s the point. Some want polished portraits. I’m drawn to something more enduring: the in-between moments, the unscripted gestures, the way your family feels when no one is performing. If that’s what you value too, then you’re not looking for the “best photographer in NYC.” You’re looking for the right one.